


Falling Hurts, but only if You Remember

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AU, Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Angst, F/M, Feels, Fluff, Humor, No Smut, but I do have a lot of ideas, fallen angel AU, fallen angel!Hanji, tags will be updated as I go because idk where this will go, the first chapter was prompted by the levihan week purity prompt, the rest was because of that one levihan video for angel with a shotgun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-19
Updated: 2013-12-19
Packaged: 2018-01-05 03:30:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1089077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daily life is interesting in the scouting legion, time goes on, repetitive yet never dull. Of course, Hanji is always there to liven up the party. How long has she really been there though? After all, an angel can change anything they want, before they fall.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Falling Hurts, but only if You Remember

_Falling, I was falling so fast, falling to the ground. I felt a searing pain, a pain on my shoulder blades as my symbol of purity was stripped away. Nobody had told me it would hurt this bad, but then again I was warned that there would be pain, but that it would be worth it. The pain of my every strand of dna being remade, myself being changed, how foolish of me to think it wouldn’t hurt. But then again, if I could hold out, it would all be worth this pain._

 

My eyes snapped open. That was quite the interesting dream, it kept coming back to me in different ways. I was always falling, hurtling towards Earth from some unknown place above, and there was always that pain I felt, as though a part of me were being ripped, no, burned off, of my body. I wondered why that was my recurring dream, I had others that were nightmares, of people dying, but no, it was that dream that came back to me the most, it played over and over and over again in my head, awake or sleeping, though usually I could ignore it when awake.

“Oi! Shitty glasses, you’d better be awake, clean, dressed, and in the mess hall, in 15 minutes, or I will leave you in there all day.” I heard Levi shout through my door. I dragged myself out of bed, put on my glasses, and didn’t bother with the “clean” part of that order, instead just throwing on some clothes (hey, they were cleanish, and matched, today!), and headed to the mess hall. I was met by his glare.

“16 minutes and 30 seconds, and you didn’t even bother to shower.” I just chuckled at his exactness, and plopped down by him, he had been so kind as to get me a tray of food already. Even if he shrugged me off and acted annoyed, I could tell that he cared for me a bit at least.

“What did you expect? It takes time to wake up, and more to shower, you should be glad that my clothes are clean, and they even match.” I took a few bites of food.

“It is better than nothing, but still, shitty glasses, cleaning yourself up a bit more now and then wouldn’t hurt.”

This was always how our morning conversations went, same old same old, Levi scolding me for my messiness, me laughing and shrugging it off. It dawned on me a bit later how repetitive that was, how repetitive the overarching broad view of my life was, even my dreams tended to be the same.

 

_“You can’t keep playing with the lives of humans, you know what happens to those who do!”_

_“I am aware of that yes, but this one is worth it, worth falling for.”_

_“Stop speaking nonsense, eventually you will fall, and who then will look after him? This is where the legend of guardian angels comes from you know, but those stories always end with the guardian falling, because they meddled too much!”_

_“I have talked with some of the old fallen ones who have died, it is worth it, worth it so much they say, the pain of becoming human, they say it was probably the best thing they ever did.”_

_“That is because they don’t remember the power they once had. I am supposed to be your assistant, remember that if you fall you drag me down there with you.”_

_“Transfer then, because I will fall, it is just a matter of time. Being dragged down, you would remember, but I won’t, if you decide to stick around then make sure that you meet up with me, I don’t want to die too soon. Sometimes to save the one you love you have to sin, it is a sin for us to meddle, but for me it is worth it. You have the choice of transferring or falling with me.”_

_“I can’t just transfer, it is my duty to follow you no matter where you may end up.”_

_“Thank you my dear, I am sorry that your feelings for me are not reciprocated, I am sorry that you have had to watch me fall in love with a human, but I do very much appreciate the lengths you go through for me. I must go do my final act as an angel to save him now, by securing his life. He is about to die, captured because of his rank as a thug, if I meddle enough now, he will be spared and given a chance to live a great life, but meddling at this scale will assuredly get me cast out.”_

_“Go then, I will await the moment when I get to feel my wings burned and torn off of me.”_

_“Don’t be such a downer, I hear human life is very nice, much more free will and emotions than we have now. I will take my leave now though and do my last act...the act that will strip me of my purity, as others call it...”_

 

“Oi shitty glasses, didn’t get much sleep did you? It is nearly noon.” I was shaken awake by none other than Levi. Groggily I sat up and looked at him, well what could consist of looking because I was blind as a bat without my glasses.

“Sorry, I was having an interesting dream, I didn’t stay up much past two though.” I reached my hand out and fumbled blindly, eventually finding my glasses and putting them on.

“Well, maybe you should consider ten as a good bedtime instead of two, you might actually start waking up at a decent time.”

“But that’s so early, all of my experiments are better conducted at night.”

“Then learn the importance of a good cup of coffee in the morning.” With that he motioned to a cup of coffee that he had, I think, set on my bedstand, before waking me up. I gladly took it and started gulping it down, discovering that it was not too hot, but still perfectly heated.

“Thanks, that is really going to help.”

“Good, and with all that extra energy you should consider cleaning your room.”

I laughed. “Maybe later, if I have time.”

“You always have time.”

“Ah, but you forget, I not only run my experiments, but, as a major, I also see to the training of multiple squads, I do more than you.”

“But you do not deal with all the paperwork I have to, and no research papers don’t count.” He almost smirked, and to that I rolled my eyes.

“Oh please, research paper is just as hard as all of those papers you get. Now though, I am hungry, I figure you have already eaten so you can go do all that paperwork you have to do, while I go eat.” I stood and stretched, as he left my room, rolling his eyes. I quickly threw on some clothes  and headed for the mess hall, to discover Moblit there.

“Ah, hello Moblit, here for lunch? Or did you get up late like me too?’

“Oh, hello Squad Leader Hanji, I am here for lunch I assume that you just got woken up by Captain Levi.” He looked down and picked at his food. Poor boy, it was clear that he had feelings for me, but I just didn’t share them, he was a good friend though.

“Yeah, he did, he interrupted a dream I was having. It was a pretty weird dream.” I thought back on it, weird indeed.

“...What was it about?” Asked Moblit, I could have sworn that he was hesitant though.

“It was really strange, one of those dreams I have been having a lot lately, the ones I have talked about before. Well in it, I was talking to somebody, the topic seemed to be centered around “falling” from somewhere. Me and the other person were talking as though we were angels, I figure it is just my mind creating a fantasy due to sleep deprivation, but I kept mentioning someone “worth falling for” whatever that means. Also, why is it you get nervous whenever I mention these dreams of mine?” I asked, because he had been tensing up and shifting his gaze around. This was not the first time Moblit had acted nervous at the mention of my dreams, but each time it became more apparent.

“Well, uh, I...” Suddenly he looked up at me, dead in the eyes, he seemed to hold an entirely different stature, more firm. “I am done with making up lies, excluding the truth. You are intelligent enough, you will have put it together soon enough anyways.”

“What are you talking about Moblit?” I tilted my head, confused.

“Those dreams are not dreams, but memories, you were an angel, so was I, you fell and dragged me down with you. Not like I didn’t have any chance to get out, but I thought it would be better this way. You fell because you kept meddling with the life of a particular human, this was the price. On your back you will find two scars, in the exact place where those wings of yours seared and tore off when you fell, I have similar ones on my back as well. Under normal circumstances you wouldn’t remember anything, but you found a loophole and gave yourself a perfectly manufactured life to fall into, giving yourself dreams as well. You wanted the truth, well there it is.”


End file.
